Credit: Article written and published by Fatherly
Strong communication and connection are vital components of any successful relationship. But life pulls us in all sorts of directions. And whether due to crazy work hours, the general franticness of raising kids, or the rhythms of routine, there will be times when you find yourself out of step with your partner. This happens to most couples from time to time. But if it’s not recognized and addressed, your partnership will suffer. Luckily, there’s an easy solution: scheduling a regular relationship check-in.
A relationship check-in is exactly what it sounds like, a regular meeting where you and your partner discuss what’s going on in your lives and talk about whatever issues you’re grappling with. Sounds simple, right? It is, but it also isn’t because to do it right requires consistency and work from both partners. But if you make it a normal part of your schedule — and use the time wisely and ask the right questions — your relationship will benefit.
“A relationship check-in is a prioritized time where it’s just the two of you being brave and open to hearing feedback,” says couples therapist Gloria Magaña. “Also, it’s a safe space reserved for honesty with the intent of making sure we are emotionally showing up in the relationship for each other.”
During a relationship check-in, you meet and bring up the good, the bad, and other topics that feel relevant. No, it doesn’t have to be a formal meeting. It could be a walk together, a set time on the couch, or a dinner conversation.
“Some couples that I have worked with have found that having a set time each day or each week to connect has been meaningful,” says Tiffany Lovell, a licensed clinical social worker and the CEO of Reclaiming Light. “That can look like a date night where you spend time talking about each other and the relationship, rather than just the details of the kids and the comings and goings of the activities in the home. Sometimes a check-in is texting each other and making plans to talk after work or later in the evening.”